Made you read.

Today in real life marked my twin sisters' fifth birthday, necessitating the obligatory cake-and-present ceremony at the fine establishment for children's entertainment, Chuck E. Cheese's. My family and I had thought it best to make most of the occasion for as long as a trip to Chuck E. Cheese's was still the girls' idea of having fun. There was Hawaiian pizza and Strawberry Cheesecake ice cream cake involved, and not much can go wrong once those two party-makers enter the picture. We all had a wonderful time. Much video and photographic evidence of my presence had been taken, almost perfectly fashioned for my alibi. Life is good.

Today on the internet I have decided to accept Twitter into my life. I used to believe that a website dedicated entirely to Facebook statuses served little to no prevention from inevitable boredom, but now I've come to realize exactly why use of the site is so popular. The idea that someone out there in the big, wide, nasty world actually gives a rat's ass about what you're doing at any given point in time throughout the day gives the user such an inflated sense of gratuitious vainglory they can't help but become drawn to repeating the very process anytime something remotely interesting (or boorishly uninteresting) happens to them. On the other hand, people who enjoy reading other user's Tweets are lead to think real-time blurbs and spontaneous sentence-long emotional gushes are giving them insight to that individual's processes of thought, hence arousing a warm-and-fuzzy feeling within the reader which assures them they are a special little snowflake for continually being allowed to see that far into someone else's mind without ever having to interact with another human being. Twitter serves as the crack cocaine for the attention-junkie side of the human soul. Withdrawal symptoms include attempting to make daily life more fascinating through mental literary narration and gaining an inexplicable need to vocalize one's every thought.

Today in fantasy several Akatsuki members from Naruto were cock-blocked by another unexpected scarcity of writer's inspiration, and Rorschach of Watchmen fame hit a woman who totally deserved it.